The life and times of Elijah James and our family

As may come as a surprise to no one by now, Elijah James was born on February 9th. He was delivered by C-section at 12:40pm. As we were told and prepared for, he was born with Hydrocephalus and Spina Bifida. We knew this was coming and we have been praying for a miracle healing for him every day. We realize that the miracle is here, and he is a beautiful and wonderfully made baby boy.

He had his back surgery to close up the nerves, wrap muscle around the spinal column their and close the skin Friday the tenth in the afternoon, then the next morning, he had his shunt surgery to help drain the excess fluid from his head, to his abdominal cavity, where he reabsorbs it. Both surgeries went very well, and we found out we have one of the best neurosurgeons in the country, possibly The best! God does not make mistakes!

He has been recovering wonderfully and we are so proud of him and his progress. His back is still healing and his fluid has been draining dramatically for the last week. His skull, like any newborn is loose plates that we will have to watch and keep aligned until the skull sutures fuse.

We still do not know what the lasting effects will be, but we love him so much, we enjoy his little cute face and big cheeks and Lil chubby self. God knows His plan for this boy He has given us to raise, but we know he is our boy who is eating and kicking and showing the nurses and doctors how being a baby is done!

We are cautiously optimistic he will come home soon, but until they give us the discharge papers, we will just nod and say OK. Every nurse and doctor had their own idea about what we need to do, and we keep pushing back if we don't believe it's best for him and for our family. At this point we are learning how to care for him, which isn't too different than most newborns, just a but more careful.

Big sisters have been able to meet him a few times now and they love him and want to hold him. They miss mom and dad and we miss them so much, we can't wait until we are all home again. They have been home with some amazing friends that have taken turns caring for them since he was born, so being on routine and in familiar places has been great for them. Brad's mom even came in from out of state to spend a few days with them and spoil them, as all loving grandmas do!

Wendy's mom had been staying with us at our room at the place on the hospital grounds for families of patients, and helped Wendy get back on her feet while Brad has been working during the day until the baby is home. This help and support from her mom has been a huge help for our family being able to concentrate on helping baby in the hospital, taking Wendy to appointments, putting up with our frustrations and helping us through a very hard time. Words or thankfulness can not repay the love she shows our family continuously, but thank you Sheryl!

I am trying to find a way to start this post, and I keep rewriting my first sentence. As a husband and father, it brings me so much joy to see my family grow in happiness and joy and peace, and I have been trying to encourage all of my family through this difficult time, even though I feel like I am the one who needs encouragement. When I found out my baby boy was going to need surgery and that he would have challenges growing up, my first thoughts were what quality of life he would be able to have. I was scared for him, that the joys of life would not be experienced by him to the same level that I have had, or that I have seen in my daughters short lives thus far. I feel helpless because I cannot change whatever happens when my son is born in a few days. As a guy who's job it is to fix things and help people, this is very hard for me to take. I have been challenged in all of this, to give all of my trials back to God and trust Him with his little life.

As Abraham was called to bring Isaac up to be offered to God, I feel called to offer control of my son's life to God, who is, was, and always will be in control of his life. This isn't working for me. I keep struggling with my own fears and praying that God will miraculously heal my boy, or that the surgery will heal his back 100%. I have felt like I am not strong enough to be a dad to this little boy. I probably never will be. God's strength has helped me lead my family in this time, and God's strength will get us through whatever happens in the next few days and weeks, as we go into the operating room for the birth of "bob" (as our friend calls him, for lack of a shared name).  I have had so much support and in so many ways from friends and family, and our church family that has been overwhelming. 

Our family is definitely a work in progress, and always will be as we grow on earth, and grow in Christ. I'm not a pastor, evangelist or public speaker, but I wanted to share what has been on my mind and heart as we're preparing for this next step. I am determined to provide my son the best care and best attention I can give him, so that he can have the best life possible. He will have a good life because God doesn't make mistakes, and God cares about this little life who has no idea what is about to happen to his warm safe place. I know we will have some tough times ahead as we're in the hospital for who knows how long, waiting to take him home. every time I pray for him, I ask that God would give him healing, or give me strength to love him as he needs to be.

Thank you for being with us, hugging us, encouraging us, sharing with us and praying for us. We know we're not alone here or in Heaven.

One week until BBB-Day!

                                                 Last Dr's appointment before the big day!

This Dr's appointment was very...interesting. The Dr. was 45 mins behind but that was ok because my NST was not for another almost two hours so I had plenty of time. Finally, we were brought back and they did the ultrasound first. When they do an estimate for weight the ultrasound program automatically takes all the measurements they took and throws together an "estimated" weight. That is of course assuming your baby is proportional in size. Our baby, because of his head size, is not. So our estimated weight was 14 lbs (my mouth dropped) and I said this baby isn't ending up on Yahoo! The Dr. said most of that is due to head, but he is a big boy. They are saying he will be 10-ish lbs. His femur is long which means he will probably be tall too! The fluid in his head has increased 3 cm in diameter in the past few weeks. So, a healthy baby's head is usually about 10 cm, but our baby's will probably be 14-15 cm.  We are trying to mentally prepare ourselves for what his head may look like. Everything else pretty much looked the same. His kidneys still have some fluid but it has not changed. All in all it went pretty well. We feel pretty prepared and slightly scared to meet our precious little boy. 

Last Friday I did go into the hospital for extreme back pain with what I believed to be kidney pain. Spent the whole day there getting tests and an ultrasound and they didn't find anything. So they sent me home with some pain reliever and a muscle relaxer. It seemed to help a lot. Just knocked me out pretty bad. I did a lot of sleeping. All through this though, baby boy was doing great and we love hearing his heartbeat. 

This next week is going to be filled with lots of cleaning and last minute organizing. Lilly asks me everyday "how many more days till baby boy gets here"? We are so excited for the girls to meet their little brother. 


                     Psalms 139:13-18
 ¹³ For you created my inmost being; 
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 
   your works are wonderful, 
   I know that full well. 
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you 
   when I was made in the secret place, 
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body; 
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book 
   before one of them came to be. 
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God! 
   How vast is the sum of them! 
¹⁸ Were I to count them, 
   they would outnumber the grains of sand— 
   when I awake, I am still with you.


       The Angers